My Dream Wedding

On Thursday I had the privilege of being maid of honor in one of my best friends' wedding. It was a beautiful affair - she had planned a wonderful wedding, but better than that, she was marrying a wonderful guy, and I was all giggles and grins for her.

Now I am so excited because I don't "have" to talk about weddings for, I'm hoping, at least a year - as my other friends are not even dating yet. :) But, before I put the subject to rest, I think it's time to give my views on what I want my wedding to be like - you know, what I would have done differently, etc.


First of all, I have two confirmed ministers who would be willing to do my wedding "for free." I'd like my dad to perform the ceremony, but he might be otherwise engaged (photos, giving me away, etc.). I also have to account for any ministers the husband-to-be would want. However, I think I shall for sure use both my confirmed ministers, and hopefully a third, to do the wedding in a three-headed broadway star type way.

JD: "Do"
Will: "You"
Third Guy: "Sarah"
JD: "Take"
Will: "This"
Third Guy: "Man"

If I can only have two, then I believe that JD and will should sing and interpratively dance the ceremony. I'd leave them up to their own creativity.

Now, I may want to have the wedding party inside the church, and then have the guests file in to music. Maybe I'll put a number on everyone's invitation, and they will line up outside the church and march in very solemnly to Canon in D. The number, of course, will correspond to how I feel for them. So there will be people in the back looking at each other and thinking, "Why is he sitting next to me? I know she doesn't like him..." and thinking that the back is the best seat because you're first in line at the reception.

I will walk down the aisle with my father, and he will, of course, be bringing a goat with him. Now, if I don't get married for some time, and if between my dad and I we are doing quite well financially, I don't see a reason why it should not be a cow or a mule. But for now, we'll call it a goat. When the preacher(s) ask, "Who brings this woman to give away blah blah blah," and he says, "Her mother and I," then my husband will turn around and first take the goat, and then take me, and we will walk back up to the altar. Lucky guy!

I think, seeing as how the goat will be there, I'd like to incorporate it into the ceremony somehow. I'm thinking about tying our hands together with the goat rope to symbolize how we will share everything - chores, goat, house, life, etc.

As soon as my husband and I (and the rest of the wedding party) leave, the lights will go dark, and a booming voice will start talking. It will be one of those previews - like for a movie. The guests will then watch a movie (I don't care what movie it is, but the preview has to be dramatic - preferrably the movie will be so opposite of a wedding, and maybe have an unhappy ending). This will give us time for photos before people head to the reception.

At the reception, I was thinking of having my husband and I shove each others faces into the cakes - this only works if we are not too rich, as I wonder if my husband would hold me down too long if he knew he stood to inherit a lot. The cake that everyone else eats will probably be an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. There will be a lot of Pepsi, potato chips, and Quaker snacks, as I plan to get Pepsi to sponsor my wedding. (All I have to do is make my colors red and blue, and other than that, I don't think they'd interfere much with my plan).

I also think that, instead of throwing the bouquet, we'll play hot potato with it. If we want the reception to run on, we could play a kind of musical chairs with it - the girl holding the bouquet when the music stops has to leave. Or, to save time, whoever holds it when the music stops gets to keep it and be the "next one to get married."

When my husband and I leave, I believe we should dress up in some kind of ethnic-folksy kind of outfits - part of me thinks German, but a close second would be ancient Israel. And then we will walk across a field, leading the goat, into the sunset until we are out of view (where, of course, there will be a car, limo, or seaplane waiting to take us on our honeymoon).

If I have left any details out that people feel are important in planning weddings (songs, flowers, dresses), please feel free to ask - I only leave them out because I don't want people stealing my ideas! If there are ideas here that call specifically to anyone - if there are any engaged people out there - then I wish them happiness in life, and they are more than welcome to use these ideas. ('Twould be wonderful if we could bring back the goat...)

So I hope to see you all at my wedding...look for your numbered card in the mail.