Monday, May 26, 2008

In Memorial

So today is Memorial Day, and I watch friends and acquaintances make plans to visit their departed loved ones at graveyards - taking flowers. Interestingly, we've never celebrated Memorial Day in our family, really, except with a barbeque. Once I helped the Vets set up flags in the local graveyard.

The reason we don't usually celebrate is because there aren't many departed loved ones in our family (3), and they aren't housed in graveyards. But just because we can't take a bouquet of flowers to a grave doesn't mean we can't take time out to remember our loved ones who have departed.

I've only been to two funerals in my life, and I would say that there have only been three deaths of "close" relatives - my grandpa, my aunt, and my uncle.

It's my uncle I'd like to write about today, for he was almost as close as a parent to me.

Gary Dallas Giltner, 1952-1998

My uncle, eldest of four boys, was born with health problems - mostly in his kidneys. The doctors never expected him to live past the age of five. But he survived, unhealthy though he was. Growing up was hard - his parents got divorced when he was ten, there was never much money. What money there was had to go toward doctor bills for him and his new stepbrother, who struggled with drugs.

You know, it's kind of sad, I don't know a lot about Gary's past. I don't know if he went to college or completed courses. I know he married, but she left him. I don't know what jobs he held before we came to know him.

I guess a lot of his life was defined by his sickness. My dad and grandpa each donated a kidney to him at one point or another.

When I was little, he got into a horrible car wreck in Colorado - a semi-truck ran a stop sign and smashed him into his car. It was a miracle he survived, but to add to his medical misery, he was forced to walk with a limp and a cane. I am sure that after that he never worked in the public sector.

Instead he devoted his time to children. From the age of six to fourteen my uncle babysat (or "kidsat") my sister and me during the summer. He would take us out to breakfast and to parks and musuems and to the zoo. We'd get ice cream at least once a week. And he was so much fun!

He also spent a lot of time volunteering with the Boy Scouts. I don't think he officially ran a troop (or pack), but he designed an obstacle course at Towakanie and helped out with day camp. One year I attended Boy Scout Camp with him...they put me in the "girls and little kids" group where we watched movies and essentially stayed out of the way.

I don't remember if there were warning signs at the end - I don't remember what happened. He was in the hospital, but there was no reason for me to think he wouldn't come out. We figured it out eventually, and my grandparents came down.

My sister thinks that it's our fault - or hers. We grew up. He knew he could go, because we were old enough to take care of ourselves.

I just say he's in a better place - I've met very few people who struggled against sickness for 46 years straight, let alone those able to keep a smile on their faces.

Anyway - I just feel that today I need to remember my Favorite Uncle. It's been almost 10 years now, and one day I'll find that I've lived more of my life without him than with him. But the truth is - eight straight years of constant care and attention - he had an effect on me. He taught me. He shaped me. There is absolutely no way to remember my childhood without him in it.

I wish more people could have gotten to know him. I wish more of my friends had. I wish he could have stayed longer. But the people who did know him, the people he helped, will never forget him.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Soundtrack of My Life

So I got to see the new Narnia movie yesterday. I had always loved the first one. SO MUCH! "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" had always been one of my favorite books - the idea of walking through a wardrobe into a new land! And, of course, as I grew I appreciated the symbolism of it.

That's not the point.

This movie had one of my favorite soundtracks ever! (Oddly enough, seeing as how I have not purchased it...) It complemented the magic wonderfully.

So yesterday when I saw Prince Caspian I went with a fear - what happens if they change the composer? They did in the Harry Potter series. What if the same composer chooses different themes that I don't like? What if they never play the good stuff?

I didn't have to worry. See, that's the beauty of movie soundtracks. The themes subtley keep you in tune with the motiffe of the scene. The music swells and ebbs with the drama. Themes develop characters personalities, and they clue you in to major events.

I've been watching lost, and I notice the shrieky music when something ominous happens, even if the characters don't realize that it's ominous.

Soundtracks are so important to me, often times my judgment of a movie is emotionally based on enjoying the soundtrack while, looking back, the plot may not have been that good. I loved the recent movie 10,000 B.C. because it had a wonderfully dramatic soundtrack based on a simple theme.

In fact, old movies with no sound would have a player piano develop the "soundtrack" to go along with the action. And really, I personally think I could have just as much fun watching movies if there was a soundtrack but no speaking. (I qualify that, of course. Even silent movies shot up screens to show what the actors were thinking or saying).

So, in short - I love music!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Going Green

So I have a bone to pick with society. It's probably the same bone people have been picking on for ages...in fact, it's probably less a bone now than a fossil, and we're chipping away the rock around the edges. Either way - it kind of boils down to common sense.

The "Green Movement" seemed to hit hard recently. Don't get me wrong - it's been coming a long time, what with the oil crisis. But usually it tends to fluctuate - to come and go. It was "in" in the '70's. I learned about it in school in the '90's. And now it's back.

This is where the bone comes in. My environmental stance has never actually been something I'd brag about. And yet, I love the outdoors. My dad tells me from experience that America is cleaner and more beautiful than it was in the '70's, mostly because of movements that have not only slowed the pollution but have cleaned up the damage that was already done. I like national parks as well as city parks. I don't go to zoos very much anymore, but sometimes I sit in amazement at animals. In short - I love God's creation.

But the sudden onslaught of the Green movement confuses me. In my mind, it feels like it hit in December. Going through the longest, coldest winter of my life, I remember nonstop talk about "Global Warming."

Now we're into summer, and gas prices are on everyone's mind. They're on my mind for sure. For instance - I may get a raise soon, but the way things are going, that raise will barely cover the increased prices of gas for my commute. I know a guy who spends the equivalent of a month's rent on his montly commute (granted - he drives over an hour each way, which is neither something I recommend nor something I see as common).

So that's what my bone is - I don't have a problem with the Green Movement. In fact, as a business major, I tend to think very logically and financially about the whole thing - you know, preserve your resources and all. But there are things we could improve.

1) Paper.
At some point "going green" included not wasting paper. I've heard all the statistics about how much trash we use. However, one friend made a strking comment one day, and I really have to agree - "Doesn't matter how much paper we waste. It's a renewable resource. We can always grow more trees." Even though he's absolutely right (did you know there are actually more trees in America now than there were at the beginning of the century, and that laws are working well to keep the lumber industry repleneshing the resources it takes away) I'm really not advocating wastefulness.

What I'm advocating is recycling! You know, it doesn't matter how much paper you "waste" if you recycle what you do use. In the pharmacy and accounting firm I work for, there are a lot of sensitive documents that need to be shredded. Those shredded documents go straight to the paper mill to be recycled. Without paying anything extra for any extra service, these institutions can recycle basically all the paper they use if they try.

Also, places that harp on 'going green' and cutting down on usage often don't offer the bins to recycle other materials like plastic and aluminum. At my house the last few years I asked people to recycle - to save cardboard, aluminum, and plastic. It was a bit of a hassle to go to the recycling place every few weeks. But I also noticed the actual amount of trash we use decrease drastically. The same was the case in the pharmacy I worked for - the majority of our trash was plastic bottles and paper. When we started recycling both these items, it cut our daily chores down, as well as the amount of trash we created.

2) Gas
First of all, as a consumer, I believe there is more we can do, or could have been doing, to lower gas prices. Along with exploring other sources of energy, we could have been building more refineries to keep up with the demand, and increasing our total oil supplies by drilling in "new" places (I dare not say where - the topic seems so touchy). Simply - we are paying for our inability to change.

And I mean that in several ways. Gas has been steadily getting higher for years now. The high prices are something we may have to get used to. But what have we, as a mainstream, really been doing to work on our consumption? Public transportation - it's not always practical, and it doesn't really work in smaller cities. But what about people who have access to it but don't use it?

And walking? Americans are fat, too, so we could kill two birds with one stone. If I had a wagon or "stolen" shopping cart, I would have no problem actually walking to the store to do my grocery shopping. Unless I have more than two miles to go, I really hate to drive any more in a day than my already too-long commute. I'm not saving that much gas - but I am developing healthy habits.

You can cut down on traffic, exercise, and save gas money by exploring options other than driving.

Also, Green companies should focus on implementing telecommuting and four-day work weeks. When I was in business school, the books implied that this was going to be the new norm. Instead, I find that it rarely pans out in the real world. I admit, most of my work I have to do at the client. However, there are days when I go to the office and work on my computer that I really could be staying at home. (And I actually do get a lot done at home - maybe even more than at the office). Likewise, if I worked four days at the client, I'm sure I could pack myself up enough homework to, say, stay home on Wednesday or Friday. Not a day off, but a work-from-home day. And if we worked four 10-hour days we'd get just as much done and have the possibility of avoiding morning and evening rush hour.

3) Air Conditioning
This is a pet peeve mostly because I'm a girl. We girls have it hard. Look at this comparison we braistormed today:

Girls have estrogen, which makes them cold. Their clothes tend to be lighter and cover less of their bodies.

Men have testosterone, which makes them warm. Their clothes are heavier - long sleeved cotton shirts and slacks. They also have a higher risk for high blood pressure - which can cause them to be warm.

No matter where you go, the temperature of the room will lean towards a guy vs. girl argument.

That said, I think that so-called "green" companies could cut down on costs as well as wastefulness if they would turn the air conditioning up. I'm not advocating turning it off. But I'm saying that inside, especially with air circulation of some sorts, it's not unreasonable to leave the thermostat at 80, or even a cool 78.

If I could, I'd set my thermostat at a 75 or 77 year round. That's a good temperature for me. Of course, that wastes heat in the winter, so I add a layer and suffer at 70-ish (yay for me - my new house and loft really retains the heat, so we'll probably kick it down even lower this winter).

However, companies tend to set it at a straight 68 and leave it. You know, I've never done the studies, but I was always under the impression that air conditioning was less energy efficient and more costly than heating. Perhaps it's not. However, I'm proud to say that, despite my sauna upstairs, we're going to really try to make it to June (and hopefully past) without air conditioning in our house. I also plan to leave the thermostat high (82?) when we do cave, as well as creating breezes with open windows, and sleeping downstairs on the couch when I have to.

So that's my rant. I just wish people would put their money where their mouths are when it comes to being green. Essentially - "Help me help you!"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Goals

Allrightee...In line with what my friends Anna and Vanessa have been doing, I have decided to post some goals for 2008. Each girl picked 28 goals, and I couldn't come up with that many. I'm not sure if there's a magic reason for 28, but I picked 14 because it's half of 28, and I've only got half of 2008 to work with.

1. Adopt a child (like, in Africa - Food for the Hungry?)
2. Volunteer at MCFAA - not sure what the letters stand for exactly, but it's an organization that helps families with foster kids. As far as my status on this - I am already signed up to make goodies for their party at the end of May
3. Get involved at church - Join a LifeGroup
4. Get involved at church - Help out at Sunday School - I'm on standby
5. Get involved at church - Join the worship team
6. Host a wine and cheese party (or bubbly and cheese) - this requires having friends who can/will come.
7. Read a book on legalism
8. Renew my Marriott Platinum membership - 14 nights to go!
9. Cut back coffee to twice a week, and cut back pop as well
10. Write letters to friends estranged by distance
11. Write a book - amidst many book ideas right now. The goal is to finish one.
12. Find a new spiritual mentor
13. Give my "problems" to God
14. Read a book on "Anabaptists"

Well - I am on my way for a few of these, and maybe my friends can keep me accountable for some of the others. Most of them require continual work of sorts.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Untouchables

The church I've been going to has been doing this thing recently where it focuses on missions. It has the feel...not so much of a church service...but of a "special" where you go at night and the missionary comes and talks about his accomplishments. But when done on Sunday morning, it can reach so many more people!

I'm not complaining - just stating that it's a little unusual. Actually, I've been hearing a lot recently, and I'm really really trying to figure outwhere that's taking me. I mean, how should I respond? Money? Prayers? Those are the two most practical ways. And I don't feel called to the mission field itself. Yet. But the messages keep coming.

So today they talked about a few things that really caught my attention. The first was child trafficking and abuse. I suppose I had kind of forgotten how bad things were - even in America. They mentioned statistics - one country alone is estimated to have 800,000 girls under the age of 18 working as forced prostitutes. Just one country. I was struck by the sin of the world!

The truth is, it feels like these problems have been around for all of time. But just because these countries aren't specifically "Christian" countries, doesn't mean that bringing the Gospel to them will just solve things overnight. Look at America. It began to feel like an unsolvable problem. Like playing "whack-a-head" or whatever the carnival game is. Imagine reaching one country and ridding it of child trafficking, only to turn around and discover that the problem has doubled in 12 other countries, including your own.

Another mission area they mentioned was India - a place where there is a rigorous caste system. I don't know if it is imposed by the government (like the Apartheid in South Africa) or just socially accpetable. This was hard to wrap my mind around at first - a group of people so low on the caste system, they were called "untouchables." It warmed my heart to see the preacher put his arm around one of these "untouchables" as they spoke on the stage. How can people so blatantly force a way of life upon others? How can you judge based on circumstances uncer your control?

But then again, how can you judge at all. In America we have some untouchables, too. The terminally ill, the elderly, the crazy. This is something I struggle with so much - the elderly. I flee from them. I try not to draw close to them. It's like they have a disease I can catch. But I've already caught it. It's called age. We have poor - generations of poor - who never leave the slums that they were raised in. Is this society imposed? Government imposed? We would like to think not. So then, how can we help?

So here I am, carrying on the banner that was passed to me at church today, desperately trying to figure out what I am going to do, what I am called to do to respond to these needs. And there are so many others. There are so many good and worthy causes out there - which one do you choose? Water for impoverished area? Education? Food? Adoption? Which will have the most lasting impact? Which is the most pressing?

My final thought is this - Jesus said, "The harvest is plenty but the workers are few." If every Christian gave themselves 100% to missions - to helping the world in whatever way they could - it would make a difference! A huge difference! It already is making a difference, but just imagine! You could rid that country of child prostitution as well as bring water to it. And more than that, people would see your love and respond. And there is something we all can do - we just have to find what it is!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

A Tribute to my Mother

Somehow the readership of my blog has increased 300% overnight. While I don't expect that kind of attention on a regular basis, it has certainly increased my concern about creating a quality blog. I don't attempt to do that tonight - in fact, I have suddenly become overwhelmed with sub-par blog ideas.

But I do want to take some time out and acknowledge some special people in my life, and since this month, nay, this Sunday is Mother's Day, that person that I shall honor today shall be my mother.

But how do I honor my mother? What can I proclaim to the world about how great she is?

Well...my mom doesn't get me. And I don't get her. And yet, I think it's kind of beautiful in a way. I mean, here she has this daughter - her own flesh and blood - and we look just alike. And yet she can't get into my head. I bet it drives her nuts. No, I know it does. She wonders where I came from.

But this is about her.

My mom is the most sacrificing perfect mother in the world. She's not perfect. But she's perfect as far as mothers go. Everything she does is aimed at pleasing her husband and kids. Not that we were spoiled. But she's the mother that remembers our interest and what's going on in our lives. She lets us call and pour our souls out to her for hours on end. She comforts us when we're sad. She disciplines us when we're bad. She takes care of us. And, yes, I suppose sometimes she does spoil us.

Mom was always the one we went to for fun as a kid. She was the one we could count on to let us read books at dinner, buy us ice cream occasionally, and permit us to make cookies whenever we wanted to (we were all a bit chubbier in high school).

So I guess that's the short of it - my little tribute to my mom - she gives so much to our happiness, asks so little, and she would give so much if asked to. So, Happy Mother's Day, mom! You're the best!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Kansas vs. KXYZ

Today, while listening to the morning show on the way to work, I heard an interesting, although not surprising fact: Kansas is one of the cheapest places to visit. (Believe me, after Chicago, I even go to restauarants and stared at the menus in delighted awe). "Ah, yes!" I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

However, moments later, my state pride turned to horror as the announcers continued. There were two men, both from Missouri, and a woman from Kansas. "Yeah, too bad your state ends at Lawrence!" One told her.

To my utter shock, she agreed! They all went further saying, "Have you seen those Kansas advertisements, too? They advertise places like the Flint Hills! Come see a big field? What's up with that? Visit Salina! You know what's worst? They put Wichita on there! It's like one big giant trailor park!"

Okay...it ends here. Right now! I have been a Kansan all my life and, unlike the female announcer, I have a little bit of state pride. And that means the entire state.

Recently I had to compile a top ten list of things to do in Kansas for a curious friend. You know what was on that list? The top item was Konza Prairie - the most beautiful nature walk in the Flint Hills - conveniently located in Manhattan! (Likewise, I believe a KSU football game was on the list - if the team's not winning, at least the atmosphere's great!)

I also put Abilene, the salt mines of Huchinson, Dodge City, and, yes, something I'm sure in the Kansas City area.

The truth is, Kansas has a lot of great places to visit, and city slickers who grew up in Johnson county probably couldn't understand. So I'll make it simple.

People don't come to Kansas for the racetrack or the plaza. Sure - it's something to do while in Kansas city. But Kansas City draws Kansans! That's right - people already in the state! Or Nebraskans, or Missouri...ans...not real tourists. Can you really imagine someone from Chicago, Washington D.C., New York, or San Fransisco coming to Kansas City and really being wowed by the racetrack? Seriously?

Now, I'm not saying they would be wowed by Dodge City, but I am saying that if a city slicker dared to venture into the Wild West (or central) areas of Kansas, he probably would be coming to see something akin to the Wild West - the outdoors, nature. Not a half-baked version of what he came from. Because, really, that's what Kansas City is!

Kansas city is similar to weapons in the Civil war. They had advanced weaponry, but no one had bothered to update the manner of actually fighting, causing more casualties. Likewise, Kansas City is a fairly large metro area. But it hasn't updated with the times. There's no public transportation, so there's always traffic jams. The people aren't even all that educated. And, frankly, I'm really searching here for quality things to do that my peers might actually find interesting.

It all boils down to not judging, really. I mean, your idea of a good place to be might be a city with lots of restaurants and shopping. But if that's what you want, then Kansas City doesn't nearly stack up to other major cities around the country. I, however, am interested in history and culture. I am interested in learning about the history and culture that Kansas City has to offer.

But don't knock Kansas! We've got you beat on history, culture, and panoramic views any day of the week!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Inspiration!

So I've just been reading my friend Anna's post and it inspired me in so many ways. First, I was inspired to just give an update on my life - nothing philosophical for once. Second, she posted goals for 2008 - I should make goals. Third, she posted things she was thankful for - I will compose a list! And finally: I've been worried that sometimes my blog gets a little whiny or soapboxy but, typical Anna, she can very tastefully compose a blog that explains her feelings or stance on a subject while still being a very positive person. And that's essentially what I want to convey - even if I'm commenting on societal practices that I don't necessarily approve of.

Anyway, here's the update on my life:

On April 6 I said a not-really-teary goodbye to all my friends/coworkers in my temporarily adopted city of Chicago and flew back to Kansas City to start my life as an auditor for KPMG. I say this because it truly felt like I had somehow been on a 7-month internship in Chicago (with a side-trip to Detroit and Nebraska), and was now starting my real full-time job in Kansas City.

I took a week of vacation to go home and pack. This didn't take as long as I had anticipated (nor did the unpacking bit). It's easy to decorate a house when you have no skill for it - you just do it, you don't think about it.

Friday I closed on a condo in Shawnee, and we moved in during cold weather. I had friends help with the moving boxes bit, but within an hour it was down to, "Where does Sarah want this?" And that was all up to me. We discovered early on that the house is, if nothing else, well-insulated. With the temperature set around 63, my room upstairs was cozy!

Kristen moved in last weekend, we had a huge fight, and now I am ready for her to move out again. No, I jest. We're getting along just as great as ever, except maybe we squabble over where to go on walks...

My job is a little more complicated of a story. I worked for two weeks (7 days really) on a pharmaceutical company that was going public. Coming into the job, I was sure it was going to fulfill my dream of becoming a pharmaceutical "guru" auditor which included a side-trip to Ireland.

Instead, it involved another first-year associate who started with me but had more experience on the job. Thus it was two-weeks of pure lack of self-confidence and dread fear that I would lose this client! Which eventually I did. Due to the lack of work to be done, I was pulled of to my new client, while the "princess" stayed on. (Disclaimer - I actually like the girl I worked with - she's great to be around and I am glad she's one of my coworkers in the office...I just wish we could trade clients!)

Another unfortunate event during those two weeks was the "opportunity" to work on a client in Springfield, Missouri. Don't get me wrong - I am rearing to go travelling again! Apparently my exhaustion in Chicago was just from work, and after a week of vacation and one day at work, I found the idea of travel very pleasant indeed! Unfortunately this client is governmental - the City of Springfield.

For non-accountants, let me tell you - governments use a different method of accounting, developed under the theory that there is not supposed to be a profit, so numbers like "income" don't really work. However, as I have no interest in governmental accounting (I actually find it a little suspicious and am wary of those who would say it is useful in any circumstance) I see the "opportunity" to work on a government client only as 5-weeks completely lost out of my life. Five more weeks that I will feel "behind" those in my start class. Five weeks I could have been working on a real client and learning real GAAP.

I also strongly say this: I completely ignored little accounting firms in wonderful cities like Wichita and Manhattan because, although I have no interest in Kansas City as a place, I did NOT want to work on municipalities. So guess where I'm going?

That's later this fall. But for now I'm working on a life insurance company. Another sector that I don't really have a desire to learn a lot about. The company seems nice: we're in a huge marble atrium with statues and benches and artwork on the wall. Essentially they threw cubicles in what used to be the lobby of a great big bank. Also, my senior likes to work from 7 - 4 and eat lunch in. FINALLY - common sense! While this arrangement doesn't actually mean I miss much traffic (apparently 4:00 is the new 5:00 when it comes to getting off work), at least my 30 minute commute gets me home at 4:30 rather than later. And I'm developing the habit of getting up early, so sleeping in is now 6:15, and I think my mornings (not to mention days) will be a lot more productive, even when I move back to 8 and 8:30 clients.

That's the last bit of the emotional roller-coaster. As much as I like the setup of the client, my lifelong pursuit of learning is being hampered a bit by the life insurance industry it's in. Likewise, although I have the city of Springfield lined up, they tell me this job is a year-round job. Which means if I stay out here too long, it could be the last client I see for a long time. HELP! (This actually makes Springfield a bit of a good deal...)

It all boils down to needing my mommy...or in this case, my performance manager. Reviews are coming up, and I'm going to ask her exactly how one pursues her intellectual and career goals when the market is scarce and the clientele does not actually make anything.

Yes, boring accounting stuff, I know. However, perhaps I can get some good pictures of my house...now I'm off to a Bachathon! There are actually people in Kansas City who also recognize Bach as the greatest composer ever! They have devoted 5 hours today to celebrate him! How can I pass up an opportunity like that?

Hark! Kristen is looking for me, and I must go.