Love and Marriage

"In a family the husband needs the wife to prepare his food; to make, mend, and wash his clothes; to fetch water; and to keep the rooms and furniture in the house clean. The wife needs the husband to till the soil, to build and reapir the house, and to earn money ot buy the goods they need. God has put into a mans' heart the capacity to love his wife, and into a omwna's hear the capacity to love her husband. But their mutual dependence makes them love each other out of necessity also. At times love within the heart may not be sufficient to maintain the bond of marriage. But love which comes form material necessity will give that bond the strength it needs to endure times of difficulty. The same is true for society as a whole. God has put into every person's heart the capacity to love his neighbors. But that love is immeasurably strengthened by their dependence on one another's skills."

-St. John Chrysostom

At first glance, this quote may appear old fashioned - fit for the 4th century, in which it was written. But it still holds today. St. John speaks of specifics for a wife's role, but he essentially describes work - hard work. In today's society many women work outside the home, which means they work doubly hard when they get home.

But whether a marriage involves one person working outside the home or two, it is still a teamwork situation. Both wife and husband work for the betterment of the whole.

These days many people find themselves in a twisted version of what St. John is talking about. They play house first, moving in together before they get married. Then, as he mentions, they find themselves unable to break up, both dependent on each other for finances. But without the lifetime commitment, eventually they do part.

In addition, there are married couples who experience the times when "love within the heart may not be sufficient" to hold on. But as women assert their financial independence, they march out of the homes when things get rough, using day care to help raise the children.

The truth is marriage is hard, and there are times when it may seem "easier" to quit. Sometimes people pull through because they believe that marriage lasts forever. Or they need each other financially. Or they are too ashamed to admit defeat. Whatever the reason, they pull through those hard times to better times on the other side, and that's how it is supposed to be.

Because marriage isn't supposed to be all lovey-dovey and romance, but it IS supposed to last forever.