In the fall of this year I purchased the World's Largest Crossword Puzzle. Measuring something like 7 X 8 feet, it hangs on my wall above my stair and takes up the entire space. I must stand on a chair to reach the highest clues, and the puzzle goes down to the floorboards.
Once the puzzle was hung up and I had taken my first try at the top row of clues, I sat back to reflect. This was my cat. By purchasing such an obvioust time waster, something that others couldn't understand, I had essentially declared to the world my intention to hole myself up in my house and withdraw into intellectualism. I didn't play the crossword puzzle at all for at least a week.
But I had underestimated myself. First of all, the puzzle proved to be of great assistance to my stage of life. Working the unpredictable hours that I did, I could not develop hobbies dependent on the outside world. To say that Wednesdays I would go to choir practice or to sign up for a pottery class would have been impossible. It was true I had no friends in the area outside my house, but my situation did not afford such things. The crossword puzzle gave me more relief than I had imagined. It was a project that did not rely on schedules or obligations. As winter progressed I found it to be warm. Indeed, this was my hobby because I could not have a hobby. I could pick it up or set it down at any moment, and it would always be there. Before I had wasted what little time off I had because I had no established protocol for how to use the time.
I had weekends off this fall, but they were busy (with what I cannot remember). It was on weekends that my joy of the crossword puzzle grew. I found tha tin the mornings th elight would stream through my window (provided the day was not cloudy) and land on the puzzle itself, if not the floor beneath it. Working on my puzzle was then the warmest activity I could do. Pacing back and forth gave me some exercise. I would play a movie that I could scarce give any attention to, and pour Mountain Dew into a wine goblet to feel sophisticated.
Because that is ultimately the way crossword puzzles make me feel. Before I purchased this giant puzzle, I had always enjoyed the daily puzzles in newspapers wherever I went. The sophistication came from playing a game that relied upon knowledge.
Some clues don't vary much. I can't begin to explain how many times I have seen "Tara" as the answer to a clue, that says, "O'Hara's Plantation" or some other such nonsense. Clues don't necessarily expand the vocabulary, either, and in some senses contract it.
However, there are better clues. I have mentioned my love of roman numerals. I find references to these all over crossword puzzles. Sometimes I am asked to do math, others to translate. My biggest flaw is that I can never remember the differences between "L" and "D" (50 and 500).
Clues may be about foreign languages. I usually skip over French (unless it is "ami", "Friend"), German, Italian, and Latin until I can fill in most of the letters. However, I find the Spanish clues delightful. I only wish they were deeper than "senor" and "Este" now and then.
However, what I love most (and find most "sophisticated") about the crossword puzzles is that you cannot get along by just memorizing typical answers. Every now and then a real clue is thrown in. These clues require you to know a great many things: history, literature, movies, politics, law. And they usually come in the form of the longest answers on the list. I love to congratulate myself on knowing the importance of the Lusitania.
(Clues in the newspaper crosswords may also be answers to little jokes. These plays on words are dreadful when you can't figure them out, but quite fun to see the result when you do).
Although I suppose crossword puzzles are somewhat univeral, I continue to associate them with people of my grandma's generation. I continue this association for selfish reasons, I suppose, especially if I am wrong about it. I have a little snobbery when it comes to people of my generation, and in some senses I see older as better. Pastimes associated with times "ago" certainly seem more innocent, but also intellectual. I find it hard to picture the average teenager today sititng down to a crossword puzzle and carefully thinking over the clues presented to him.
On the other hand, this association causes me some embarrassment, especially given my fear of people equating the puzzle with a cat.
In the end, though, I suppose I can neither take vain pride in my enjoyment nor cower from it. It is in fact an enjoyment - nothing more, nothing less. It would be as hard to explain my dislike of pickles compared to my love of puppy chow. It is simply a matter of taste.
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