Social Media

"Kids these days just don't know how to communicate." Even as my parents' generation begins to embrace social media outlets, they still bombard me with cliches like this. I most recently heard this when both my cell phone carrier and my dad berated me for emailing tech support rather than calling them.

I saw email as a more convenient way of fixing my problem - explain the problem, wait for a reply, and follow the steps outlined. I could still go about my business without inevitably waiting on hold for hours and then talking to someone with a heavy accent. (To be fair - I later had to call the customer service line and with the exception of the lady judging me for initially emailing, the service was quick and understandable). My dad saw my choice of email as an attempt to avoid personal contact.

There is certainly a generational problem here. My general philosophy is, "If I cannot do it via the internet it's not worth doing." What I mean by that is, if I need to purchase something, ask for help, look for directions, addresses, or phone numbers, or even look at a restaurant menu, I would rather be able to do it online. Obviously that doesn't mean I hole myself up in my house and never leave. But like many in my generation, I have found the internet useful for conveniently placing help requests, searching for the best price, and making purchases without in-your-face salesmen trying to get me to upgrade (the popups do that for me).

Whether this strategy is right or wrong, it is the way of the future.

Further, people in my parents' generation don't like social media. They see it as inferior to real life interactions - including telephone. I suppose they never stop to think that telephone itself is a form of social media that has evovled. It is true we are social people - we have a real need for interaction and that includes physical touch and presence. Having a cell phone, email, and facebook at my disposal allows me to keep in touch with people I would otherwise lose track of. It allowed me to not go crazy from loneliness when travelling on the road. Not only is it "good enough" when you are physically unable to connect with friends and family, it is a great tool to facilitate those meetings when they do happen.

In other words, I don't think our generation has a problem communicating at all. Okay, so, "What r u up 2?" may fly in the face of all grammar nuts out there (like myself, actually). But if kids actually think that these are correct spellings, that is a failing of the education system, not social media. (Further, language DOES evolve - words are created to reflect the language of the day, and in some cases grammer can be revised to reflect popular useage). Instead, people are communicating much as ever. We are just using different methods.

Another objection is the TMI aspect of social media. This is an objection to WHAT we communicate. But we must remember, again, that what we say also evolves. Our general style of speaking to each other has become less formal over the ages. Even before we could post TMI on facebook, we tended towards announcing it to our friends, family, and coworkers in person. This TMI comes in forms such as facebook status updates and blogs. The former I tend to see as a mini-creativity festival. Can you say something quirky and funny to amuse your friends and semi-friend? The latter is a great way to express your opinions, whether people read them or not, or to stay in touch with friends and family long distance ("Today little Millie took her first steps, see the photos!"). Those who tend to be crude or too-open in real life will tend toward the same on the internet, and those with standards will continue to hold them.

In other words, I think that people complaining about the mass usage of social media are comparable to people complaining that we don't know how to write in cursive or ride horses anymore. While I don't think face-to-face conversations will ever go out of style, complaining about the method we use to communicate seems to be akin to complaining about progress in general. Ultimately each generation will choose its outlet, and the generations before and after will wonder at it!

On a similar note, social media etiquette seems to be a point of contention as well. Frankly, it seems I have bad cell phone etiquette. I guess you are not supposed to talk while walking down the street or in any public place. I am sorry, but that's the very reason I have a cell phone - to be able to have a conversation with someone when I normally would not. I'd like to know who has determined what is and is not rude when it comes to cell phones. It seems to me that the cell phone users tend to break "all the rules," which means the rules need changed. In other words, many of the so-called cell phone etiquette rules seem to have been set up by those who don't use cell phones.

Now, I agree some places are just too much - like restaurants. But no cell phones in public at all? I live alone and am alone much of the time. Although I would like that to change, I cannot live in perfect isolation. Many times that I find myself on the cell phone when people would prefer I not be, it is because I am in a place where people have companions. At the grocery store or in the cafeteria, people are enjoying conversations with real-life friends or coworkers. But I have none with me at the time, so what is so wrong about enjoying a conversation with a friend who is not there? In other words, the only difference between those who are "polite" and "impolite" is whether the person they are talking to is there physically or not.

And I am not sure why talking on a phone while walking down the street would offend anyone. It is the same concept as above. I am not one to just enjoy exercise because I can - and so I like to take walks and talk to people. When I cannot have a real person because of distance or scheduling issues, then I call a friend or family member to talk to. A walk down the street by myself without anyone to talk to would bore me to tears and become real work at that point.

In other words, I think that those who use the social media should set the standards. If a group of teenagers are sitting at a table texting while eating dinner and none are offended, then perhaps we should see that as the new norm - for the future generation. Granted, texting while eating dinner with grandma would be considered rude. But those who are actually using the product do not take offense.

And my final point is about instant gratification. It is true, we are too connected. Just like I refuse to take a walk without being "entertained" (because that is really the heart of it), many of us cannot go for extended periods of time without being connected. While I don't know if this is good or bad in itself, it can lead to an instant gratification mindset, which can be dangerous if we allow ourselves to be instantly gratified in other ways. In other words, it is good to force ourselves to take breaks from social media and cell phones - even me - in order to teach ourselves discipline. But to have discipline taught to us by an older generation who never exercised such discipline themselves (their self-gratification was lower tech but existed nonetheless) is a little demeaning.

So the point is - stop judging old men! You can join the social media train or not, but don't pretend that it is somehow inferior to the communication methods of the past. Like any form of communication, it is only as good as its users. And, since apples don't fall far from their trees, if you have a problem with the users, you might want to consider exactly why that is.