If It Makes You Happy

On my desk at work, I have two elongated sticky notes with red cursive writing on them. I wrote these notes in an attempt to minimize any opportunities for my coworkers to call me crazy. I speak, of course, about those rare instances when you are walking down the hall and a memory of something incredibly funny comes to mind and you can't help but laugh or grin. Yes, grinning for no reason seems to turn others off - I don't know why.

Still, I sometimes glance over at the ever-growing list and get an instant lift from something I see on it. (On the top - the second page is hidden, I don't know how useful it is to have my funny moments hidden). So I have decided to share the list with the world. Granted, some of these are inside jokes or "You had to be there" moments, but I will do my best to explain.

- "Practical joke of sending Maggie to the clippers and she falls off the table." That dog is impossible to trim her nails. So in desperation I took her to a professional groomers at PetSmart. They asked me to step outside to pay, and as I stood at the cash register, I could see Maggie and her handlers inside the window. She was desperately trying to get away, and they were desperately trying to hold her still, and then, whoops! Her paws slide off the table. Don't worry, she didn't actually fall. If she had, it would not be so funny. But it felt like I had just played a mean joke on the PetSmart employees - "Here, declaw my dog!" When in fact, the task I had asked of them was physically impossible.

- "Talking about the advertisement on PBS and it pops up (Ken Burns)." One Sunday I had spent the entire afternoon with the PBS channel on. I wasn't watching it so much as listening to it as I did other things. When Kristen came home she sat in the living room as I explained to her how all the advertisements repeat. I listed them off - in the perfect order to which they appear on the channel - and was in the middle of saying, "That one where Ken Burns pops on the screen," and the TV said, "Hi! I'm Ken Burns." Little ironies like this happen all the time, but it was pretty funny that night.

- "Anything from Meet the Robinsons." But mostly Goob.

- "Dogs in UP." Have you seen that movie? I would say 80% of it is kind of a snoozer, or give it a B- rating overall, but the dogs are hilarious! It is because they capture the very essence of what dogs are like. "Hi! I'm Doug, and I just met you, and I love you." He he he...

- "The day I accidentally called MP to his face." That's actually what I wrote down. Anyway, my sister was dating (and is now married to) a guy named Michael. Because it was her first serious relationship, we gave her a hard time about it, and I joked that she called him "Mikeypoo." What my parents forget is that they joined in the fun, too. Anyway, maybe the third time he met my parents they told him that I call him that. It was a good joke. But to his face I was careful not to call him that. Until one night it just popped out. I kept talking, but my mom grew mysteriously silent before erupting into laughter. I'm glad it happened, though. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I never worry about whether "Mikeypoo" is around when I call him that. And, of course, MP is short for Mikey-Poo.

- "Maggie bounding into her cage." Well that was a cute moment more than anything else, and how I long for it to repeat itself! I think she was tired. And I give her a nice big treat whenever she gets in her cage. But one morning Maggie saw me getting my stuff by the door ready to go and just bounded into her cage as if it was a game. She always looks betrayed when I close the door on her, though...

- "Punchy." That was a new term I heard for grumpy, and it made me giggle. Now whenever I am "punchy" I just remember that I am "punchy" and I feel better. :)

- "Listening to the spaghetti conversation next door." Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti. That is the title of a pretty decent book I just read. It's one of those "understanding the opposite sex" books. Men are like waffles because they compartmentalize their lives into boxes. Women are like spaghetti because everything runs together in and around itself and touches every other aspect of their lives. One day, during the few weeks I was reading the book, I tuned into a conversation in the cubicle next door - a conversation amongst three women. I had to laugh because, with the help of the book, I could see the conversation through the eyes (perhaps) of a man. It noodled in and out and all around, starting in one place, going somewhere else, and still ending up where it should be. Something completely simple for me to understand, and I then realized that perhaps a man would be overwhelmed to hear it.

- "Maggie burying her bone in the chair." This is the funniest thing I have seen in a while. When I give Maggie a bone she walks around with it in her mouth crying for a while and then "buries" it either by "hiding" it (usually next to the book case or some other obvious place) or by "burying" it in the chair. To do this, she jumps on the chair and vigorously scratches it for a while, making digging motions with her arms. Then she gingerly places the bone on the chair. I had seen this several times before but almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw the conclusion. She then "pushes" the "dirt" back over the bone by rubbing her nose, in a circular motion, on the chair around the bone. She has now gone through all the necessary motions to bury a bone, and the bone still sits in plain sight. It is so funny to watch and, of course, cannot be repeated on demand.

- "Pushing Maggie off the bed." This is not animal cruelty, it's just one of those little "ha ha" moments in life, like when we watch Funniest Home Videos. No animal is hurt. In fact, the reason it's on my list is more for the emotional mindset of the dog. I am trying to train her that the bed is not an appropriate place, but I can almost sense her frustration. She thinks that I am a puppy and, as such, am quite rude to take the comfy spot for myself while she sleeps on the floor. It's that little, "But...but...but..." that I can almost hear coming out of her mouth when her attempt to jump on the bed is foiled by a quick placed hand.

- "Mom picking up her domino and saying, 'I have a two...'" A non-thinking moment for the members of my family. We were playing Mexican Dominoes, and as we started to set up our trains, my dad said, "Wait, don't we need to draw to see who goes first?" Well, that was a non-thinking statement for him. In Dominoes we don't do that - whoever has the appropriate double (Double 12, Double 11, and so on) places it on the table as the first move. So that was strike one. Strike two was my mom, sister, and I all mindlessly obeying and drawing an extra domino. It wasn't until my mom proudly announced, "I have a two..." that we all realized the GroupThink that had just happened. It was like waking up from a trance, and I still giggle about it.

- "Me blowing out my candles super quick." The same night another example of mindless obedience. My mom, sister, and I were in the middle of some (probably goofy) conversation while my dad was preparing my birthday cake. All of the sudden, my sister said, "Blow your candles out, Sarah." and my mom began to sing "Happy birthday." Without thinking, I turned my head to where, as if by magic, my dad had appeared at my side with a cake, and blew out the candles in a rush. My mom suddenly cut off her song. It was the world's shortest rendition of "Happy birthday" ever, and I barely even knew what I had done. I was just obeying orders.

- "The crazy people on the video game." All my life I have never been good at video games, but I have usually enjoyed watching other people play, especially when they make light of it. Anyway, my sister was playing "Indiana Jones" and had just finished destroying all the minions when her husband came into the room. "Why are you killing all the crazy people?" He asked. The minions weren't bad guys at all but crazy people. Then, to make the moment even funnier, they all ran back onto the screen in a dance-like manner waving their arms about. Erin had to lasso them and drag them over to a switch to sit on in order to pass the level.

Well, looking at this list I know it is probably hard to see the humor I see in most of these. But I also wanted to share the concept of the list itself. It is so nice to be able to glance over at it and suddenly be able to chuckle my way through a bad day. It is the perfect tool at work, a place that many people find stressful in its own right, and it helps me keep a crazy smile on my face.