My Case Study

I don't know how to explain what I'm getting at here without possibly offending someone. However, I have noticed over the course of my life a strang phenomenon that I would like to share with others and perhaps get some feedback on.

To explain what I'm thinking, I'm going to use a case study of two people I know who, I think, embody this idea. They are a lot more polarized than most people in whom I have observed it.

We have Guy 1 who is outgoing, smart, funny, and likes to be the center of attention. On the other hand we have is best friend Alec (don't ask me why I'm not calling him Guy 2, it just seemed too mundane). Alec is shy, reserved. If you talk to him, you get the bare minimum answer. He's not unkind or unlikeable, just quiet.

Now I understand opposites attracting and complementing each other. In this case, Guy 1's ability to make conversation will more than suffice for Alec, especially in a group.

But here is what I find interesting: Guy 1 defers to Alec and follows his lead.

Essentially, the stronger presence is defering to the weaker one. Do I mean that Alec is weak? I'm not saying that he's somehow less of a person. I just mean that in general his presence is not felt as strongly by other people. If you met Guy 1 and Alec, you would remember Guy 1. Alec would be known to you as Guy 1's friend.

That's why it's so interesting to see Guy 1 defer to Alec. In a bigger picture, it would be like a spokesman for an athlete. The athlete has all the power, but the spokesman gets to talk in the interviews.

But Alec isn't using Guy 1. I was wondering if this was a case of "the first shall be last and the last shall be first." Essentially, Guy 1, with his "strong" personality and intellect has found some value in Alec. Perhaps he sees Alec as a good friend because he is so quiet. You know, "the less you say the more people will remember" and all that.

And a lot of what you see in Guy 1 could be influences of Alec coming out.

I don't know if there's a conclusion I want to make on this. I just wanted to point out this odd phenomenon. I can think of several other instances when I've seen it happen, and it makes me wonder why it is such a common occurrence.

On a final note, I have to make a statement about my perceptions of both of these guys, which may help me to figure out why Guy 1 follows Alec's lead. I like Guy 1. He's the kind of guy I want to hang out with. You might even say I find him attractive.

But there's something intriguing about Alec. He doesn't say much, which makes me want to get to know him even more. I wonder, "If this is his most external quality, what are the other quirks and qualities of his personality?" He's mysterious.

And who do I want to be? The "strong" personality with a good friend/mentor that I follow? Or do I want to be the quiet one, really pulling the strings and having that respect? They're both good choices.