On Children and Travel

It seems to me that on every flight there is a crying or fussy baby. Don’t get my wrong, I’m not trying to complain here. My purpose in pointing this out is slightly more intellectual – is the baby fussy because it’s tired/hungry/wet/etc. and that’s just what babies do? Or is the baby in pain? I mean, when you fly, the air pressure changes, and you have to do that thing with your ears where you stop them up and exhale to equalize the pressure. I’ve also been told that chewing gum helps. The solution is almost second nature. But do babies have the capacity to do that? I mean, I know you can’t sit and rationalize with the child, “Now, plug your nose and exhale, but gently!” I wonder, then, if the fussiness comes from pain!

Of course, all this thinking about babies on flights. When I hear a fussy baby, my first instinct is the thought of the single person, “Why would you bring a baby on an airplane?” In fact, there are times when I wonder why you would take a baby out in public at all. Unfortunately, that’s almost how it works – parents go to great lengths to find sitters and double up on errands, and go through drive thrus. Babies are a lot of work.

Now, the compassionate side of me, small as it is, started arguing with this. Let’s say we take my route, though. Never take a baby on an airplane (it’s a waste of money, too! I mean, paying for a ticket for something so small!) So you travel only to places within driving distance (in my family, that means anywhere in the US) until the child is old enough to know the meaning of the phrase, “Stop crying right now!” Well, from what I’ve heard, driving with babies isn’t much less of a headache for you – it’s just that you are the only ones who benefit from the high pitched communications of your darling child.

So now what? Well, pharmacists have long advocated (when asked by inquisitive technicians) the use of Benadryl to put the children to sleep. Then I wonder – don’t tired children get crabby? If the medicine only halfway works, won’t that cause the problem to get worse? Not to mention – even though it’s safe, now we’re drugging our children.

What’s my point? I don’t think I have one. I think all this thinking is making me more tolerant of children while traveling. So that’s a plus. (And the question really then becomes something else entirely: would you put your toddler on a leash?) Then again, if tolerance is what you’re looking for, you could follow the lead of the lady beside me and drug yourself up – with vodka.