My Kid

Okay, right after I wrote last night's post, I watched the Scrub's episode: My Butterfly, which pretty much said the same thing, only with more eloquence and humor.

Anyway, I think part II is going to be much more fun, at least as far as I'm concerned.

I enjoy psychological self-analysis (as well as analyzing others), and often find myself wondering why I do something, or why I feel a certain way. To aid in this analysis, I have decided I would like one of three tools: a pensieve, a ghost of Christmas past, or a kid.

The first item is a Pensieve, from the Harry Potter books. This device allows you to take thoughts out of your head, let them swirl around for a little bit, and then replay them for you. But even better than all that, it can make connections that you never would, replaying them in an order that makes you go, "Ah ha! So that's what happened." Haven't you ever had memories that just pop up out of nowhere? I've always wondered if they were important somehow. This way, I could just siphon those off, and look at them later to see if they really were important. And what about bad memories? You can store those away and never look at them again unless you really wanted.

Now, the last purpose of the pensieve also ties into my ghost, so I'm going to explain them both at the same time. Anyone who has read or seen A Christmas Carol knows about the ghost of Christmas past, and how he spirited Scrooge away to different occasions. Now, my ghost would have to have the ability to take me to places other than Christmas, because not a lot really has happened on that holiday in my life. But as he hops from place to place, the ghost discusses with Scrooge what he's seen and what impact that has had and what happens next. So you see, this kind of adds on to the pensieve because there's a guide. However, the purpose is still the same. For instance, I used to be quite a bit like Hermione (I think) in the Harry Potter books: always answering any question that I knew the answer. I don't think I was trying to show off. Anyway, I can't remember raising my hand in class since at least high school. I'm assuming somewhere along the line I missed an easy question, got too many wrong, or realized (as Hermione never did) that people don't like know-it-alls. But I can't be sure, and I would love a ghost to take me back to fourth grade and show me getting laughed at. Not to relive the pain. Just to help my psychoanalyze.

Finally, there's the kid. One of my favorite movies is The Kid, where a 40 year old man meets his 10 year old self (in the present). I could have little Sarah come visit me and tell me just exactly what she thinks of what I have become. I think that our personalities are shaped by the people and events that surround us as we grow up. But I also think some of our personality is with us from the beginning: maybe not genetic, but God-given at least. Being able to talk to a younger me (or observe one) would show me which aspects of my personality are inborn, and which have been shaped. I know, for instance, that as a kid I wanted to be a teacher, and now I don't trust my tutoring skills. I'm sure I could explain that to Little Sarah if she asked. But you know how kids view "grown ups." They're either boring or they lead exciting lives. Would she envy me or tell me I'd let her down? Not that I'd take advice from someone ten years old or younger. But it's me!

So anyway, what do you think you'd find if you had these tools? What would you do with them? (Now I really do sound like a teacher, "Write a story about a time when...")

So also, I'm really looking forward to the stuff I've been collecting in my head to post. I think the next one's going to be really cool! Scandalous even! And the next one will be explicit! ;)