On Communication

Well, kind of fitting for my 50th post to be about communication - at the very least, I think it's a fund one.

In one of my recent "learn something useful" rampages, I started reading books on men and women and how they think and communicate differently. These books are fascinating! I think they helped me a little in relating to guys - but it's a process that's ever growing. Even those authors weren't perfect in understanding the sexes. (And that includes their own - I think I wrote on this earlier, but I learn more about girls from these books than guys sometimes!)

Now, I know that somehow when it comes to explaining something I read in my own words, I fall apart. However, I will try. One recurring motif from these books was that women are essentially better communicators - their minds are very "talking," oriented. They work things out by talking things out. And that's why they end up talking about feelings and such.

A fun discussion for another day might just be the fine line between a woman needing to "let it out," or "talk through something," and plain old "complaining." Well, even when you're happy, you're still yappy. :) I remember listening to my mom give a run down of her day every night at dinner. My dad - don't remember him really talking about his day that much at all!

And I put up with it. And he puts up with it. And I know that I do the same thing - to my dad, friends, etc. 'Aha!' I thought, 'But the difference is, I know how to make it sound interesting!' To me, that is.

So I decided to take today - this normal day in the life of Sarah - and put it in different formats - for different audiences. This is the same day - just stretched about and reworded.

"So, how was your day?"
"Terrible! It was so boring!"
This response to the most casual of questions is usually frowned upon. In America we have a strange obsession with happiness. When someone asks, especially in passing, how someone is, they expect to get, "Fine," "Ok," "Good," "Great!" or even "Excellent!" Never go below "fine" or "ok."

"So, how was your day?"
"Good."
Okay, that's my response to the same stranger, except being a true American. Not lying - just changing the strength of my positive response. There were good aspects.

Now let's try the boring dissemination of information:
"Well, I got to work at 8:30, but no one was there. Then Tim showed up around 10:00, and we went to lunch. After the boss showed up, I had stuff to work on. We're setting up APG's for the 2007 audit, and I had some comments to clear. Then Shona and Tomoka came - I'm so glad they're going to be here this week! They're so much fun! Anyway, I, of course, got to go on the dinner run. And my manager chastised me for signing my name to a document I didn't understand. I got to go get dinner, as usual. We didn't get off until 8:30 - I thought he was never going to let us go."
I think that essentially covers all the points that I, as a girl, need to communicate. And yet, it seems like - an entry from an 1800's railcar worker's journal.

So, when talking to my girl friends, I'd probably say something more like the following - something I personally consider to be more interesting than the above:
"We have a new guy today, Tim. He's from Washington D.C. He came around 10:00, and no one was here to let him in. So he called Jack, who emailed me, to come get him. After lunch we had the same problem - except this time both of us were locked outside! Anyway, Tim looks kind of like Jim from "The Office." He seems pretty nice. But neither of us knew what to do since there was no one there to order us around - so helpless! Finally Jack showed up, but it was another hour until he actually assigned me anything. When Shona came, we got down to business. But it was also nice breaking the silence every now and then: Talking to Tomoka and Shona. We got in a huge discussion about taxes - and how none of us really know how to do them! Hopefully we'll get off earlier tomorrow night!"
Okay, so even I found that to be a bit boring - but it was true to the day. And enthusiastic at least. I do know that during my "boring" day, I was pre-planning this out, and it sounded better.
Maybe next time.